I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
