I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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