Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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