I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
