Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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