oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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