I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
