I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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