found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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