my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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