I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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