A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
