Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
