the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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