you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
