He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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