i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
