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the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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