i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
