I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
