I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
