I just made out with a guy for $7.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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