when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
