yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
