I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
