how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
