walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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