You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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