i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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