that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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