ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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