i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
