we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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