They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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