Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We are all done wearing pants today
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
