I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
