Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
