the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
