He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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