My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
