i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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