there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
