dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
