Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
