I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
