I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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