I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
