some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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