you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
