Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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