**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
