I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
