Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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