I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
