I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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