It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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