It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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