hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
