Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Also, beer. Big fan.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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