Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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