I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
